Have you ever eaten a hot pepper that set your tongue on fire? We had a garden, and I loved to eat fresh peppers out of the garden. There is something satisfying about being able to know, grow and eat what you have planted. However, sometimes what you think something is and what it actually is are two completely different things. For instance, what I thought was a sweet banana pepper turned out to be a very hot banana pepper. Trust me, this tongue of fire was far from heavenly!
One Innocent Bite, Sound Familiar?
It started out innocently with just one little bite and the next thing I knew I was trying everything in my power to put out the fire in my mouth. I went running from the garden to the fridge to see what could help cool this flaming tongue on fire. I drank milk, put ice on my tongue, ate bread, but nothing stopped the burning on my tongue. This went on for hours, not minutes. Sometimes the lessons God will eventually ask you to teach are ones you need to experience for yourself. I would rather not have had such a personal lesson!
What is the Most Powerful Weapon?
The most powerful weapon we use against one another is the tongue. The way we use our tongues can bring life or death. I’m sure you have read stories about how people kill one another out of anger. Many times, anger starts with an argument and words escalate into death. Words can crush and kill a spirit, or they can empower, encourage and enrich a soul.
My advice is: Don't say anything to anybody that Jesus wouldn't say to you! Share on X It is okay to love in truth and honesty as Jesus did, but don’t do it in malice or out of hurt and anger. As adults, we know how painful those tongues of fire can be when we’re spoken to with anger and harshness. Imagine what happens to a child who grows up in a home where the words spoken to them are only with anger and discouragement, and never with love or hope.
Have Regrets?
Have you ever found yourself saying something you regretted later? I know I have, and it was not pretty. In the past, I have unleashed a roaring forest fire of unkind words from my tongue directly on others, and there was nothing heavenly about how I said it either. What often causes us to lose control of our tongues is reacting to an opposing opinion about something we are passionate about, or a personal attack on ourselves or someone we love. In my case, my feelings were hurt and the next thing I knew I was trying to put out the fire in my mouth. The damage was done and as much as I wanted to take those words back, I couldn’t. The words I had spoken were not from Jesus; they were my own spiteful, hateful words.
The Lesson
God has shown me many things about myself since those days, and I have grown leaps and bounds in my faith, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still fight to control my tongue.
God’s word tells us in James 3:1-11:
We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
Wow! Did you catch that last verse? Read it again. The word says, it can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. We are living in a time where it seems everyone is quickly offended by any little thing. But this verse explains so much. The fire is coming from hell! When we choose to react in a way that is not pleasing to the Lord, it corrupts the entire body. It eats us alive!
Sticks and Stones Break Hearts, Not Bones
There is a saying, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.” I don’t believe this saying because I have been called names and they do hurt. When we place labels on people such as stupid, fat, dumb, ugly, ignorant or worthless, they negatively impact lives. They are the opposite of who Jesus says we are to Him. He calls us beloved, beautiful, valued, cherished and gifted, and affirms us with His words!
Let me start by saying, verbal abuse isn’t accepted by God and should not be tolerated. I have spoken with others who wish they were physically abused because then people could see their wounds and understand their pain. When a person is in a verbally abusive relationship, they have wounds you can’t see, but the pain is still there. If you are in a verbally abusive relationship tell someone and get help. You are worth so much more than the hateful words said to you. If you are threatened in any way, remove yourself from the situation.
5 Ways to Put the Fire Out
Due to social media, we see what a tongue of fire can do daily. We’ve seen the words of hate on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. I believe hate breeds hate, but love breeds more love.
What can we do to help stop the tongues of fire?
Pray and ask God to search your own heart. Many times, how we react to things is a result of our own prejudices, fears, and underlying insecurities. Ask God to help you identify those triggers and make you aware of those things which make you lose control of your tongue. Also, if you find yourself in the middle of a conflict, pray before you engage. From personal experience, I can tell you it works!
Counter with Love! When others are spewing hate, counter with words of hope, kindness, and patience. Watch how when love is thrown on a fire attitudes and temperaments change almost immediately.
Proverbs 15:18: A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Think before you speak or post anything. This doesn’t mean you can’t have your own opinion, but how we say something or post something can be understood differently than what you intended. There are people in front of you and behind the screens. Ask yourself the question, how will this be interpreted? Am I adding fuel to the fire or am I poking a hornet’s nest? Unfortunately, we can’t retract our words once they are out there.
Proverbs 15:28: The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Don’t Take the Bait!
Sometimes, the best advice is not to say anything at all. There are those who will bait you just to get a response. Don’t allow others to bring you down to their level. The enemy is the worst of all baiters as we learned with Adam and Eve. He is still using the same old tricks thousands of years later. You would think we would have learned by now, but we still fall in the same old trap!
Proverbs 15:26: The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked, but gracious words are pure in his sight.
Dare to Be Different! When we pour life-giving words over others, it changes everything. It changes people, conversations and trajectories of lives. Personally, it changes each of us. You may not notice anything at first, but God will do the work. It isn’t our job to change other people, that is God’s job. It is okay to admit our mistakes and tell others we were wrong. When we admit we are human, we are allowing others to admit they are human too!
Let Your Tongue Give Life!
Our tongue of fire is so small but can destroy everything in its path. Don’t allow your tongue to control you, but you control your tongue. God has given you the power and the authority over your tongue by the Holy Spirit.
If we want to provoke one another with our tongue of fire let us do like the scripture says in Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
This is so true. And exactly what I needed to read today, thank you!
Hi, Julie!
I’m glad you found this helpful! Thanks for your input!
Hate is everywhere and I don’t want to be part of this strange “system”. It looks like you have to be rude to be accepted, how wierd is that? My grandmom used to say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Have a nice day x
Hi, Marina!
Your grandmom was a wise woman and sounds like my grandma too! Yes, you are right it does seem the ruder you are the more accepted you are and I want no part of that either!
I love this post. Regardless of anyone’s religion we can all acknowledge that the tongue is a powerful but dangerous tool. We truly have to take responsibility for the things that come out of our mouth and the impact it can have on others.
Hi, Leslie!
I agree with your statement. We are responsible for what comes out of our mouth…the good and the bad and can either have a positive or negative impact. It is our choice, but we have to be willing to accept the responsibility should we choose to be negative. Thanks for your encouragement!
This is so true! I’ve been convicted lately about critical speech, and this was a great reminder. I especially loved your action step about asking God to search our hearts—it made Psalm 139:23-24 come to mind!
Hi, Carmen!
I understand that conviction too! Our words are a reflection of our heart and I’ve become aware of how much I want my heart to reflect God’s heart by asking God to search my heart.
Being careful about what we say can sometimes be very hard! It’s definitely something to work on every day
Hi, Cristina!
It is a task we all need to work on daily and remember why it is important!
It is so hard for me to bite my tongue sometimes but I know that when I do it is usually a more positive situation. its a life lesson to be learned for sure. I try to remind myself this daily.
Hi, Celeste!
It is hard to bite our tongue, but you are right not only does it usually make for a positive outcome, but we are also being great examples to those around us.
This is something I’m currently battling. I never thought I’d say some of the things I now say. Thanks for the encouragement to change.
Hi, Tami!
You are not alone! It is a battle we are in together!
What an interesting take on being careful about what we talk about … Thanks for sharing and talking about this important subject.
Hi, Aditi!
You are very welcome! Thanks for your encouragement!
What a beautiful comparison, eating a hot pepper to choosing harsh words! I’m always challenged by the Bible’s analogies and reminders to watch what we say…because saying something rude has gotten me in trouble alot!! Haha
Hi, Julie!
Oh, this tongue of mine has got me in a heap of trouble in my lifetime! I’m thankful that God is a merciful God. He has given me a TON of grace!
Oh I love that! Sticks and stones break hearts, not bones. So true!
Hi, Tiffany!
I’m afraid it is true. Words have been known to start wars and put people on a path to destruction. Think about Adam and Eve and what it cost us all because of the enemy’s tongue
This is so true. I think people are so quick to be cruel with their tongue, especially when they are safely behind a computer. It has such a detrimental effect on people.
Hi, Leigh!
Yes, people are much braver saying mean and cruel things behind the screen then face to face. Even when they know nothing about the situation. We need to be slow to speak and slow to anger!
A timely reminder for me after hollering at my children. I can lovingly correct without belittling them. My one daughter loves those hot peppers!
Hi, Maryann!
Wow! Your daughter must have a high heat tolerance 🙂 Yes, we do get upset at times, but speaking in love to our kids will usually get a quicker response to the action. Hang in there we have all been there!
Before I accepted salvation, I prided myself on being able to bring people to tears with my words. Now, I realize that words are often more dangerous than physical violence. I make a conscious effort to be very careful with what I say.
Hi, Marta!
Isn’t it amazing how God changes us from the inside out even with our words? I agree that words can be more dangerous than physical violence. I’m thankful God always pours out His best on us!
I stay far away from hot peppers for this very reason. I don’t like to punish myself unnecessarily.
Hi, Heather!
Good thought! Nothing worse than a tongue on fire!
Be mindful of what we say is so important, words can definitely kill as you said
Hi, Paula!
Yes, they can and often times those words can be a slow crippling death because you replay the tape over and over in your head.
In Italy we have a saying (I’m not sure you have it and how it translates but literally is): The pen kills more than the sword. It seems totally fitting in this
Hi, Mimi!
You are right that is a perfect saying! Thanks for sharing!
Sheila, I love your alternative version of sticks and stones. Because your right, words do break hearts and not bones. Words are so, so powerful, yet all too often, we don’t think twice before we spew them at each other.
Hi, Heather!
I know I have been the one spewing and on the receiving end of those words. God has convicted me about the power of words and the potential they can cause both positively and negatively.
Hey Sheila! I love this! I love how you expressed yourself and the real danger to our tongues…we can break and wound people. Thank you for this word!!
Sher
Hi, Sher!
Thank You for responding! Yes, our tongues can cost us more than we know! I hope you are well! Miss you friend!