True Success is Being Able to Laugh at Your Mistakes!

As summer begins to wind down, I realize how much of this season has been a blur. Much of my time was spent focusing on spending time with my momma and enjoying every possible minute with her. I didn’t want to miss the opportunities and the precious moments we had together. We knew her life on earth was coming to an end and we wanted to make every second count, and we did. She has been gone a little over two months and it is all still so fresh, but as Momma would say, “Sheila, when I am gone you have to keep living your life and don’t let anyone else live it for you.”  Momma also said, “It is okay to be sad for a little while, but don’t let your sadness consume your life. Life is meant to be lived.”

 

Even at the end of her life she was still caring for all of us. She never wanted to be a burden to anyone. She often said, “When I can’t go, I want to go.” It was one week from the last time she went to Wendy’s until the following Friday when she walked into heaven. I think she knew that day when we left that she would never be going back. She asked for her favorite Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, but I knew in my heart she wouldn’t eat it because she hardly ate anything. The cancer had taken her appetite. The cancer she had been so diligently fighting was taking over her body and there was nothing she could do about it any longer. Neither of us said a word as I wheeled her back to the car, but as tears ran down her cheeks I knew it was the last time she would sit in her seat at Wendy’s.

Momma struggled with some memory issues toward the end of her life, but she never forgot her family or her friends. She would sometimes forget a conversation you had had thirty seconds ago, but she didn’t forget those who surrounded her in her final days. At first it was frustrating, but I learned it was easier to have the conversation over and over again than try to convince her we just talked about whatever the subject was at the time. It is funny because today I would LOVE to have the same conversation over and over again just to hear her voice.

We were given a gift, because her cancer diagnosis came in January and it allowed us to prepare, but the fact is even if you know it is coming, it doesn’t truly prepare you for the loss, grief and sorrow. What it does allow you to do is to recognize what is important and what isn’t. Mom chose not to do have any more medical treatment because she wanted to live out the rest of her life doing the things she loved. She had overcome breast cancer twice, beaten thyroid cancer and in the end it would be bladder cancer that took her physical life.  She was tired of doctor’s appointments, being poked and prodded and sitting in hospital waiting rooms. Instead, we spent her last six months saying everything we wanted to say, giving lots of hugs and kisses, shopping, taking her and Dad on a trip to Lancaster to the Sight and Sound Theater to see “Jesus” as an early anniversary present, and she was able to come to my home.

I realize many people don’t get the same opportunities when a life is cut short. However, I have concluded that whether you do or don’t have time, there is always something you wish you could have said to your loved one. If there is anything I learned through this process it is not to wait to tell someone how much you love them, or anything else that is on your heart. The only regret I have is that she is gone way to soon, but there never would have been a good time for her to go. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, yet we live like we have all the time in the world, Share on XNone of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, yet we live like we have all the time in the world.

One of the last conversations I had with my momma is about living life to the fullest. She shared with me that sometimes we hold ourselves back because we are afraid of rejection, fear, or failure. Momma said, “You’ll never know what success is until you try something new.”  In the midst of our grief and sorrow of missing Momma this weekend, we celebrated life and tried something new.

We celebrated Ali’s birthday this past weekend, and like many other young professionals in their early thirties, she decided to make her very first, very own birthday cake from scratch. She gathered all the ingredients to make a homemade Hershey’s chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Ali said from the beginning this would either be an episode of the popular British baking show where the cakes are beautifully decorated or an episode of #NailedIt on Netflix. If you haven’t seen that show you must watch it and have a good laugh! She baked the cake, made the frosting and allowed her cakes time to cool. However, when it came time to put the cake together it was not a pretty picture. She had decided to make a four-layer cake and as she added layers with frosting, they just kept sliding and sliding until the top layer slipped off and the rest of the cake crumbled.

 

We have never laughed so hard at a cake and even as I am typing this it still makes me laugh out loud! The tears were running down our faces (thankfully, not our legs) and we had a hard time catching our breath. I’m not convinced that my momma didn’t have something to do with this caketastrophe! Yes, Ali could have used toothpicks or straws to hold the cake together, but she didn’t. Besides, where was the fun in that? However, it didn’t stop any of us from eating it. The flavor was incredible, and the cake was very moist, but we concluded she should have chilled the layers for a while and used a stiffer frosting.

Ali #NailedIt this weekend! We both learned lessons, but more importantly we had one of those belly laughs that make you hurt from laughing so hard! In a season of where there have been many tears of sadness, these were welcomed tears of happiness.

I couldn’t help but think of momma’s advice, “You’ll never know what success is until you try to do something new.”Success doesn’t always mean everything comes out perfectly. Sometimes it is all the lessons and the fun you have while learning to do something new. Ali and I are going to take a cupcake decorating class in a few weeks and I’m sure we will be very successful. As Ali’s friend said when she heard about the layer cake mishap, “Cupcakes will never betray you like that!”

I don’t know what your past season has been like, but I’m ready to embrace a new season. I’m ready to learn and try new things and live life to the fullest. I’m looking forward to seeing where my new successes come from and how I can make my sparkle be even brighter for the world to see. I want to encourage you to do the same.

Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

In case I have made you hungry for chocolate cake here’s your opportunity to make one!