This past weekend I sang in the Easter Choir at our church. I know there are many who sang in their choir for Easter, but for me, this weekend was a turning point and a huge victory. My daughter has been asking me for years to sing in the church choir, but I just couldn’t face it. After surviving a heart attack last December, I realized God had given me my voice back for a reason, and I wanted to honor Him by using my voice for Him. For years I have sung, wrote songs and have been part of worship teams, choirs, and cantatas. I have always enjoyed singing since I was a young girl. My mom taught my brother and me how to sing and harmonize at an early age, and music was a big part of our lives growing up. In school, I was always in the chorus and even part of the select choir. My mom would often tell me that I was born with a song in my heart because I could usually be found singing or humming something.
The first song I sang alone in public was at the little country church I attended as a child. It was a Sunday night, and I sang the song, “Heavenly Sunshine.” I’m not even sure I understood what all the words meant, but I loved the song. From that point on, I found myself on the church stage singing because I loved to sing to Jesus. My music teacher at school told me I had a real gift, especially the ability to sing harmony with anyone. At the time I didn’t understand that not everyone could sing harmony, but it has always come easily to me.
There have been two times in my life the enemy has tried to keep me from singing and won. The first time was when my grandmother, who did not like me for whatever reason, continually told me I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. She would go to my concerts, then come up to me afterward to tell me I was a horrible singer and I shouldn’t do that to people. I know most people have all kinds of warm, fuzzy tales to tell about their grandmother, but I don’t have any of those about that grandmother. She loved my brother, but she hated me. As a child, I never understood why, but as an adult, I learned she was jealous of me. She would sing my brother’s praises time and time again, but all she had for me was mean spiteful words. As a child I wanted her to love me, so I quit singing. After years of trying to get her to love me by doing everything she asked and never being able to please her, I gave up and went back to singing.
The second time was when I tried out for another praise team. I went through the audition process, and everyone commented on how well I did and how great it sounded. As a matter of fact, the sound technician told me out of all those who tried out I had the tightest harmony with the worship leader. I appreciated his feedback and waited to hear if I would become part of the worship team. When I heard I wasn’t going to be part of the worship team, I asked him why so I could improve my skills, take additional voice lessons and maybe try out again later. The answer I received was I was not the right type. The right type? I didn’t know there was a “type” for a worship team singer, but apparently, there was. I didn’t fit into the mold of being young, tall, blonde, and thin. I didn’t look good enough. These words crushed me. Once again I allowed the enemy to take my voice. The devil knew from my past this would be the ultimate knock-out punch and it did knock me out for about ten years.
After my heart attack in December, I realized the enemy has been trying to take me out since I was born. Once I found out I had an earlier heart attack as a child, I understood there has been an all-out war on me all my life. The enemy has been plotting, twisting and scheming for me not to use my voice for God. I may have quit singing in groups, but it never shut me up! When I couldn’t sing, I spoke, and when I couldn’t speak, I wrote.
This past weekend God has allowed me to experience another new beginning. Just like the night I had my heart attack, I heard the words God spoke again, ‘There are no dead ends, only new beginnings.” This weekend I sang with all types of people who sang simply because we love Jesus. I found myself praying for that worship leader this weekend because I realize he doesn’t have the heart of a true worshipper but has been duped into believing he has to accommodate the world. You can never serve two masters. God is healing my heart and making it stronger in more ways than I knew.
I’m done allowing people or situations to steal what is rightfully my voice given to me by God. Whether it is singing, speaking or writing I’m going to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ because He paid the ultimate price for me.
What have I learned from all of this? Always let your voice be heard. No matter what God is calling you to do the threat from the enemy is real. Why? The message God has given you is vital to the Kingdom. Think about this! The enemy has been trying to squelch out Jesus for over two thousand years. How has he tried to do it? By shutting up Christ followers and turning the world up louder. There has never been a time like the present to be heard. God doesn’t discourage, God encourages!
In the words of the song, “I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.”
Don’t ever stop! You keep fighting for your voice. God has a plan for you.
Hi, Lee! Thank You and I will keep fighting because I know it is too important to quit!
When I used to be on praise team and was the head of the alto section, many women would come to me and say that they wanted to saying but just didn’t have the voice. I would tell them, “You need to let God be the judge of that….and I’ll warn you now: He gave you that voice! So, careful on the critiquing!”
Hi, Erin!
Isn’t that the truth? One way or another the enemy is a deceiver whose desire is to shut us up!
I love that you stepped out in faith! So happy to read this tonight, Sheila! You go girl!
Hi, Julie!
Thank You for your encouragement and I am marching on!
Congrats for going back to singing. I wish I could sing, but I totally can’t. Your story is inspiring.
Hi, Catherine!
Thank You for your encouragement! Singing may not be everybody’s thing, but I’m sure you do many things well! I had a friend who said she could never sing either, but the fact was she could sing beautifully she just never allowed herself the opportunity to sing. Trust me, I know what it is like to get something stuck in your head that you believe you can’t do, but with God all things are possible.
This is such a beautiful post and very convicting for me! I love to sing and can sing pretty well. I made up songs all the time when I was little. I was in choir and show choir in high school. But my mom told me my voice wasn’t very good and it crushed me. I still have a hard time singing in front of most people. You really struck a cord with me today. (Ha! Pun not intended but it works well! 🙂 )
Hi, Melissa!
Oh dear one I’m sorry for the sting of those words from your mom. It is true our tongue can either bring life or death and I have learned because of the world we live in people are prone to bring death because of sin. However, I also know the enemy never wants people to sing about our life in Christ. I pray you take these words and sing your heart out to God and allow the fear the enemy has kept you trapped in (I’ve been there) to be broken. He whom the Father has set free is free indeed! Sing it OUT! 🙂
“When I couldn’t sing, I spoke, and when I couldn’t speak, I wrote.“ beautiful. You have discovered what it means to be on and off stage. The only audience is the Father in Heaven, May your voice bring the messages from the heart of God.
Hi, Ann!
Thank You for such encouraging words! I pray that is exactly what my voice does every time whether I’m on a keyboard, paper or a microphone. God is my audience of one even if I am the lone cry in the wilderness of life. I love God so much and His people. I thank God for taking our hurts and trading those ashes for beauty!
Singing at church is one of my favorite things to do! I haven’t been in so long but I need to get back.
Hi, Jenna!
I love that you love to sing at church. Worship is a beautiful thing and a testimony to encourage ourselves and others. The good thing about God is he is always waiting for us to come back to church. I hope you get the opportunity to go back soon!
This is so encouraging. You didn’t allow the thought and feelings of others stop you from using your gift. It is never too late to use your gifts to bring God glory.
Hi, Ayanna!
I wish I would have started using it sooner, but there are lessons in everything. You are right it is never too late to use your gifts! It truly is about bringing God the glory He deserves.
This is so encouraging, Sheila! I often find myself singing just to praise God out of the overflow of my heart.
Hi, Heather!
Yes, the overflow of your heart is an incredible place to sing from because we know the gift of God’s redeeming love! Blessings to you sweet friend!
Sheila, what a beautiful and inspiring story. I’m so glad you found strength after something so traumatic. I imagine it was an amazing day for you and your family! Congrats!
Hi, Maya!
I can’t begin to tell you the freedom and healing that flooded my soul. Every chain was broken and His presence was powerful! God wins!
So, I’m the one who the psalmist spoke about when he said, “Sing a joyful NOISE unto the Lord.” But, you know what? I sing because I have something to sing about!
Hi, Marta!
It is all JOYFUL to God! It is about the intent of the heart that God adores. We all have something to sing about…like when my husband cooks one of your dishes. 🙂
As I started to type a response this chorus came to me: “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.”
Thank you, Sheila, for being sunshine and Sonshine in all you do!
Loving you,
Toni
Oh, Toni! Another God moment for sure. I have sung that song to Ali since she has been born and still do today. Thank You for being my Sunshine and Sistershine! Love you too!
Sitting here wanting to write down my reaction, but the words won’t come. So just “Thank you, thank you, thank you”. So many lessons for me in this Glitter.
Hi, Dora Mae!
Thank You for your words of encouragement and always using your voice to stand for His love and truth. We always have lessons to learn, but God is a patient and kind teacher. I am grateful for that!
This is THE BEST glitter ever Sheila! Sing it Sheila. Sing it!
Hi, Cathy!
Together we sing in harmony! Thank You, Cathy! His love has given us a strong and mighty voice to be used for Kingdom GLORY!
That’s a perfect word picture💖💖💖