Next Thursday we celebrate Thanksgiving. I am sure many of you are already feeling the anxiety of preparing the perfect table and delicious meal for everyone to enjoy. Many of you have been slamming Pinterest for new recipes, ideas, and home décor to make your home festive and welcoming. The pressure you are putting on yourself is huge because of the family and friends that are coming, and you need to convince your in-laws that their son has married a gourmet cook and the equivalent of a Martha Stewart.
However, all of your preparation has turned you into a crazy woman. If you find yourself screaming at the kids, your husband and even wanting to kick the dog, it may be because you are going overboard. Of course, we want everything to be perfect and our guests to be impressed with our homemaking skills, but at what cost?
It is hard to be thankful when Thanksgiving becomes a dreaded chore. This isn’t what Thanksgiving is all about. God is not asking you to be a martyr. In fact, God didn’t even ask you to cook! We set aside the fourth Thursday in November to reflect on all the blessings God has given us. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the details of the meal and décor we forget the real reason for Thanksgiving is to simply BE THANKFUL!
It is wonderful to gather with family and friends to share a beautiful meal, eat lots of pie, hold babies and listen to the laughter of children as they run through the house. However, if you are feeling anything less than joyful you might want to re-evaluate your Thanksgiving Day blueprint and design a new plan with more thankfulness and less stress.
For years I held Thanksgiving dinner at home with both sides of our family. Was it fun? No, because I hadn’t learned early on to accept help from others. The first few years I did all the cooking, baking, decorating and turned myself into a crazy woman. At the end of the day I would be exhausted, miserable and resentful. Now, does that sound like I was very thankful? I wasn’t, and it became one of the days of the year I dreaded the most because I didn’t like who I became. On a day that was supposed to be filled with celebration and thanksgiving, I was only thankful it was over. People would offer to help, but I would say I had it under control. Oh, I did have it under control because I was too much of a control freak to let anybody else help.
After about five years of this misery, I gave in and waved the white flag. Thanksgiving dinner had grown because our families grew, and so did our circle of friends. A new plan was adapted and put into place. After discussion with family and friends, we decided I was only responsible for the turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and potatoes. All of the drinks, side dishes and desserts were the responsibility of the others attending. The first year of not being in control of it all was hard, but I promise you it will be okay if nobody brings rolls or a pumpkin pie. I can tell you it may happen once, but chances are it will never happen again.
Meal cleanup became easy because we used fancy plastic plates instead of glass plates which needed to be washed. Also, I only had place settings for sixteen, and there were twenty-eight of us if everybody came so, it became a no-brainer. No one ever complained, and my table still looked as beautiful as if they were glass plates. What I learned was to choose my battles about what I could and couldn’t do, and in doing so, I became thankful because I had time to focus on BEING thankful.
I love to set my table the night before, putting all of the tablecloths and decorations on each table. It also gives me the opportunity to pray for each person and tell God what I am thankful for about each person from the youngest to the oldest.
In letting go, God let me see and experience Thanksgiving in a new way. I no longer have to be the crazy woman filled with tension because Thanksgiving needed to be perfect. Don’t allow the enemy to take the joy and gratitude out of your Thanksgiving celebration.
One of the things I do every day is to pray and ask God to bring to my mind all the things I have to be thankful about. It is great we set aside a whole day to be thankful. However, Thanksgiving isn’t just one day, but an everyday attitude of thankfulness.
As you prepare for Thanksgiving next week, let the peace of Christ rule your heart.
Colossians 3:15-17
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
What a lovely reminder to keep the peace during the holidays. It is so easy to get stressed out and overwhelmed!
Hi, Megan!
Yes, it is easy to get stressed, but God will provide the peace if we ask Him. Taking time every day during the holidays to focus on His goodness changes everything. Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!
Love this post so much!! I’m hosting Thanksgiving for the first time at my home this year and the stress is SO real. But this post helped me to remember to just sit down and BREATHE and pray for each each person that will be sitting at my table!
Hi, Monica!
I remember that stress, but you are on the right track! Just breathe and pray! I’m sure it will be wonderful and ask people for help. Everyone wants to pitch in and help so let them 🙂 Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving! I’m praying for you!
I agree. We need to be thankful everyday. So much can disappear quickly.
Hi, Jacqui!
Yes, it is sad that so much can be gone in an instant. I’m glad we can cling to Jesus who never leaves us and gives us so much to be thankful for!
This is so spot on! It’s so sad that something that began as a celebration has become a bit of a chore for those that host/prepare the meal.
Great post and happy holidays!
Hi, Abby!
It was sad, but it isn’t anymore! Many hands make light work and we all enjoy helping to get dinner on the table and having the time to talk and laugh!
Setting the table the night before is such a great idea! http://www.thedarlingdahlia.com
Hi Steph!
Thanks! It has become my most favorite part of the day to be able to pray for each person and count my blessings. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving can be so stressful but when others pitch in it isnt as tough. Plastic plates for the win!
Hi, Emily!
Thanksgiving can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. My prayer is this post would save others from my mistakes. I’m so glad I had a conversation all those years ago so I could keep my focus on God and the many blessings He has given to me. Yes, plastic plates for the WIN! Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s so easy to turn family events into a performance, but if you stop and think, how much do you really judge when you go somewhere else? Don’t you think they will likely offer you at least as much grace?
Hi, Aryn!
You are so right about turning family events into a performance especially where your mother or mother-in-law is concerned. Thankfully, I no longer feel the need to do that and have become comfortable in my own skin. We have traditions, but I’m not them and they are not me. I was much harder on myself. They never said a word and were always appreciative of us opening our home to all of them. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Thankfully, it’s pretty laid back around here. That’s mostly because we go to my parents’ and they deal with it, but even when we’ve hosted, I don’t go crazy with everything. My kids make a dish they like (and can handle) and I make turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes!
Hi, Dana!
It is good to be laid back! Thanksgiving shouldn’t be stressful. You made a great point with the key being not to go crazy with everything. It is so much easier when everyone lends a hand and makes a dish. Enjoy and have a happy Thanksgiving!
Don’t allow the enemy to take the joy and gratitude out of your Thanksgiving celebration. amen! Yes… only the enemy given the permission can make you think this is such a burden …
Hi, Ann!
The things we learn with age. I’m so thankful for the wisdom God has given me through the years to know the difference between God’s voice and the enemy. Thanksgiving is a wonderful celebration of God’s blessings. Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless You!
Wow! 28! I’m hosting my first Thanksgiving but it’s a friends giving, so much smaller. Thanks for the advice!
Congrats Brittany on hosting your first Friendsgiving! I’m sure it will be a wonderful day full of blessings! Enjoy and have a beautiful Thanksgiving!
It’s no fun when frustrations are running high. Relaxing and enjoying the family is so much better.
Hi, Kristi!
You are right about that! It certainly isn’t God-honoring either. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Love this Sheila. I don’t have as big of a crowd as you do, but in years past when we did, people would always pitch in and help. That made it way more fun. Hope you have a wonderful holiday. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
Thank You, Amy! I was a slow learner, but I enjoy Thanksgiving now because people do pitch in and help. You are right it does make it alot more fun. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Got me in a great mood for this weekend as I head home to celebrate the holiday with family! Thanks for sharing!
Hi, Caitlin!
Have a safe trip home and enjoy every minute! Happy Thanksgiving!
A great reminder as we start to plan for the day of Thanksgiving. The stress is mounting so this year the kids are helping grocery shop and cook the meal with me!
Hi, Julie!
What a great time you will have shopping and cooking with the kids. It is always more fun when everybody is excited to help! Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s much easier when everybody pitches in so that one person doesn’t have to do all the work. Then everyone can be blessed, and not at the expense of one person’s sanity.
Hi, Susan!
Amen! Trust me I needed my sanity back and I am thankful our new plan works great and everyone enjoys doing their part. Have a great Thanksgiving!
I love this Sheila. Our family Thanksgiving meal is a potluck, that way no one is stuck preparing the whole thing.
Hi, Heather! Your Thanksgiving sounds like fun! Although knowing my family if they weren’t designated to get something we would end up with chips, dip, and cupcakes. LOL Have a super Thanksgiving!
I love your statement, “God is not asking you to be a martyr.” So true!! We don’t have to be perfect. We’re called to be Mary not Martha! Sit and enjoy each other’s company and be thankful! Thank you for the reminder!
Hi Melissa,
Thank You for your words of wisdom too! I would rather be a Mary than a Martha! It is a wonderful thing to be able to sit down and enjoy being with the people you love the most. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lol I love the title!
Hi, Lacy!
My title came in one of those middle of the night wake up moments from God. God does have a sense of humor for sure! Happy Thanksgiving!
Wonderful article and great tips to consider as we prepare! They’re are so many new plastic wares available now that make your table look very elegant. I found some at Sams Club. Definitely reduces the hassle of clean up! Excellent verse to add at the end. Thank you! Sharing this 🙂
Hi, Stephanie!
I love Sam’s plastic wares. They are beautiful and you can hardly tell they are plastic. My motto is work smarter, not harder! I’m glad you enjoyed the scripture. Have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving!
Such a great read this afternoon, thank you
Thank You, Terri! Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings to you and your family!
This is my first year hosting Thanksgiving and whew let me tell you I am feeling the pressure. Thank YOU for the reminder to remember what this holiday is all about, take a step back, and breath. I almost had a meltdown over mini pumpkins yesterday. LOL!
Hi, Jane!
I’m sure everything will be beautiful! Like you said, remember to take a breath and enjoy the celebration. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Trust me don’t allow mini pumpkins to freak you out what will matter the most is the love you will share and the blessing of being together. Happy Thanksgiving and let me know how it goes!
Thanks for sharing. this was a great read this morning. Xo
Hi, Celeste!
I’m glad you enjoyed my post. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving and enjoy every minute being with friends and family!