I’ve been keeping a secret. But now I need to confess to all of you why I have been keeping this secret. Have you ever had a secret that you didn’t want to share because you were afraid you would fail and let down the people you care about so much? I have shared before how I struggle with weight and all the emotional trauma that has been inflicted on me as a result. It is ugly. I want to be healthy not just spiritually, but physically and emotionally. Just as God is a triune being, so are we in our own way.For each of us to reach our full potential, we have to be healthy in every area of our lives Share on X For us to reach our full potential, we have to be healthy in every area of our lives. Over the past few years, I have been working hard to become healthy in every aspect of my life. I have had a great support system who has been cheering me on and continues to do so.
This all started last December when I decided I wanted to do something to give back to others. Jesus Glitter is about encouraging others to #BetheSparkle. What I chose to do was outside the box, outside my wheelhouse, and mostly just… outside. I knew I had to do something that would encourage others to think outside the box and go the extra mile. I decided to do a 5k once a month. This gave me the opportunity to give back, as well as assisting with achieving and maintaining some health goals I had set for myself. I shared with some people what I was doing, and there were those who I believe thought I would never make it and others who admitted they could never do it themselves.
I went to my doctor and had a blood workup done. She explained to me I was in a pre-diabetic state. I’ve always had a blood pressure issue, and my cholesterol was high. Honestly, it wasn’t a surprise. Both my mom and brother have diabetes, and I know the complications it can cause. My doctor said if I didn’t change my diet and lifestyle I was heading toward some serious issues. I have heard the “talk” before. I had done a Whole 30 for sixty days instead of thirty and fell off the wagon. The funny thing is I loved doing the Whole 30 because I felt so much better. It was like those simple carbohydrates were evil minions that just kept calling my name. They called, I ate, and I was miserable once again. The one thing I did learn from the Whole 30 was that I knew I could do it, but I had to change my attitude if I was going to succeed.
When I first started walking again, I remember going up the hill and saying to my daughter Alicia, “Keep going I’m going to die right here on the sidewalk.” Okay, I may have been a little dramatic, but I was so out of shape, gasping for air and sweating like I had just taken a shower and we hadn’t even gone a quarter of a mile. It was not a pretty scene. I hated the fact that once again I had to start from ground zero. I was so ashamed of myself. However, I was angry and determined to change because I knew my life depended on it. The beautiful thing was no matter how slow I was, Alicia never left my side. She just kept talking to me and the next thing I knew we had walked over a mile. That was my beginning.
Food was the one thing I thought I controlled, but the fact is I allowed food to control me. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that food became my God. Food was my comfort, my source of healing, my stress reliever, my anger management, my joy, and reward. I was good at feeding my emotions, and I stuffed way more than my emotions. Whenever anything good happened, I thought I deserved a treat. Goodness, I treated myself like I was a dog. Do a trick Sheila, and you get a treat! How sad is that? I’m sure you have seen the commercial “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” Well, I would have done just about anything short of being on the wrong side of the law. On the flip side, if anything stressful or bad happened I ate to cover my pain because food was my release. Addiction is addiction; it just comes in various forms.
I am no different than a drug addict. We talk about the opioid epidemic in this country and the many lives it has taken way too soon. The only difference between opioids and sugar is that sugar is legal. It is as addicting as any drug and has the capability of killing you.
The ball was in my court, and I knew I was at a crossroads in my life. I had to confess and repent before I could begin to deal with my issue. Prayer is my foundation. Conversation with God is minute by minute because in the beginning, I had to talk myself into going for a walk or talk myself out of eating something every day. It is amazing what you can blame on the weather or how many ailments you can blame to avoid doing something you know you have to do. The fact is I can’t do this on my own now or ever, but with God all things are possible. Now, I get frustrated if I can’t walk for some reason. I never thought I would see that day!
Defeat is no longer an option. I shared with a friend recently, God doesn’t demand perfection. He just wants us. In my weakness, He is strong. I’m not doing this in my own power, but in the power of Jesus Christ who lives in me.
Here is what I learned in this process. Attitude is key. The first month I did a 5k was last December, with my daughter. It was called the “Elfie Run” with all donations being given to Toys for Tots. The day we decided to walk was cold, blustery and snowing. There were snow pellets hitting us in the face, and it was painful. I could have made a million excuses for not doing it, but I didn’t. Alicia and I did it together, and although it was freezing outside, our hearts were warm, and we finished. Our attitudes were that it wasn’t about us, it was about the kids who would wake up on Christmas morning and have a gift under the tree.
I couldn’t believe my first 5k was in the books and the fact I didn’t have to do another one until January made me happy. However, I can’t tell you how incredible I felt because I finished what I started and I didn’t die. Instead, I felt more alive than I had in a long time. God was stirring my heart. I kept my promise to God, and He kept His promise to me.
I called my initiative #GivingWhileLiving because I didn’t want to wait to die in order to give back. I wanted to give back in the here and now to make an impact on the lives who could benefit from some love, hope, and encouragement. This is what Jesus Glitter is all about. But, what I received in return was way more than I gave. My life was given back to me.
This past July, I found a doctor whose expertise is working with people with weight issues, especially those who are morbidly obese. Yes, I fell into the category of being morbidly obese. No words anyone wants to hear, but it is my reality for the moment.
Now, here is the secret I have been keeping. Since the end of July, I have lost 60 pounds. I had new blood work done last week and here are my results. My new numbers no longer classify me as a pre-diabetic. All of my numbers including blood pressure and cholesterol are within normal range. In fact, my doctor was so proud of my numbers she called to congratulate me. Please hear me when I say I am not bragging, because I know I am vulnerable and have the ability to slip back into complacency in a second. Yes, I have lost 60 pounds, but I have a long way to go. It is a war that rages within my soul every day. However, I’m not running away from God, but I’m running to God or in my case walking at a fast pace. J The transformation in my ability to walk is nothing short of a miracle. I am currently walking at least four miles five days a week. The hill I wanted to die on the first day, I now walk up with ease.
In November, Alicia and I will be doing the “Turkey Trot 5K” on Thanksgiving Day. The charity that is benefitting from this run is called Way Side Station. Here is the link: http://www.waystationinc.org/turkey_trot_15/#faq Way Side Station helps children, adolescents, and adults with serious mental issues and offers love, care, compassion, and hope.
I never thought I would be excited about doing 5k’s, but I am. I love looking for runs who are donating to charities that are close to my heart. When I am walking/running, I think about what each person has had to endure in their life, and I pray for them. The medals I have received are the reward for completing the 5k, but for me, it is so much more because it is a reminder of God’s faithfulness and my obedience.
I don’t know what you struggle with, but God does. Some of the things we struggle with such as weight, are more obvious than others. There are those who struggle in private with pornography, anger, depression, and self-worth to name a few. Our struggles don’t make us any less valuable to God. From the moment we were created by God, we were priceless. As long as you have breath, you have the opportunity to start fresh. You don’t have to live in your agony. Yes, there is always a risk with being vulnerable and honest, but God will reward you in ways you can’t imagine. Freedom is a result of no longer being held captive. I’ve held myself a prisoner for long enough. What about you?
We can keep secrets from each other, but we can never keep a secret from God.
What an amazing accomplishment! Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank You, Lauren! I am thankful for all that God continues to teach me in my journey!
beautiful written … what caught my attention was “God doesn’t demand perfection.”
But it does take a tiny step if willingness from our side to be in balance with our God given life.
Thank You, Ann! You are right it does take personal action because if everything was done for us, I don’t think we would appreciate all the things we know only God can do!
That’s awesome! That is really quite an accomplishment. Praise God for how he has helped you to accomplish this!
Thank You, Bethany! One day at a time and one bite at a time! I appreciate your encouragement!
Congratulations! I love to hear stories like this. It takes effort on our part, but God will see us through all of these trials. Yay!
Hi, Kristi!
Thank You so much for your encouragement! I am so glad we have a patient God who never tires of wanting to see His kids work through and win their trials!
Be the Sparkle! I love that! Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your journey! I, too, am a sugar addict and the struggle is so real!
Thank You, Shannon! You are right about the struggle. It is real! I’m thankful for God’s unconditional love and helping me to claim my victory one pound at a time. Praying for you too!
Congratulations, Sheila 🎉This is fantastic news. Thank you for letting us share in your victory!
Thank You, Sheila! I’m thankful to God for allowing me to share this victory! I appreciate you!
Sheila, this is so inspiring! I’m in relatively decent shape but I struggle with sugar addiction and treating myself just like you spoke about. I’m so inspired by your ability to keep going and to keep #givingwhileliving. This is just so relevant to so many people and I’m top of the list!! Great post.
Kim,
Thank You! I have come to the conclusion that the enemy has wanted me to keep this weight issue all to myself. Isolation breeds loneliness and the ability to hide. However, it is a false security because the fact is everybody sees you. The enemy hates it when we bring our issue into the light because nothing is hidden anymore.
This is incredible! I love your honesty, Sheila! SO proud of you, and journeys like this only get better by the day 💕
Hi, Megan!
I have come to the point if I can’t be honest and authentic I am not honoring God. Truth is what sets us all free and you are right the journey does get better every day! Thank You for your encouragement. I appreciate your kindness.
Sheila, thank you for sharing this and congratulations!! Food addiction is such a struggle and oh I can so relate to treating myself like a dog with rewards. Working on winning this struggle myself and know witb God all things are possible! <3
Hi, Melanie!
I appreciate your encouragement and honesty too! Together we are better friend! God is good even in the midst of trials his love flows endlessly. He has taught me so many new things about myself and the gift of grace. I’m praying for your victory too!
That is awesome! I’m so proud of you and what a perfect message for ALL of us who struggle. God is in control. ❤️
Hi, Heidi!
You are always so kind! I’m glad God is in control, obviously, this has been a long time coming, but His timing is perfect! Much love to you and your family. Stay warm in Alaska 🙂
Hi Sheila ❤️I love you!! Kind of going through a similar journey with my weight. I fell into a deep depression 2 years ago I let myself fall into a habit I didn’t like. Now trying to get back into walking trying to do 5 miles everyday. I have my ups and downs too but I just wanted to say You Go Lady!!
Karla,
Thank You so much for sharing! I love you too! It is so easy to find yourself in a trap, isn’t it? I’m walking about 4 miles a day at the moment because the weather has been too nice to be a gym. I’d rather be outside any day! I bet those pups love it outside. They are beautiful! I’m praying for you Karla and Go Girl!!!
My dear sweet friend, you are an inspiration to so many, including me. If you are going to keep a secret, this is a good one to keep. I am beyond thrilled for you! Not just for the weight loss, but for the better health and how this journey is blessing others through you. If good news were money, you’d be a wealthy woman!
Thank you for sharing this incredible journey with us!
Hi, Toni!
Thank You for always encouraging my heart. The good news is God has made me richer than I ever deserve. God has surrounded me with incredible people like you! Anyone who knows you or has read your blog understands the gift of your heart. Love you sister!
Wow, you’ve lost 60 pounds! That’s frieken’ awesome! Keep going, girl! I bet you feel a lot better already!
Thanks, Susan! I have a long ways to go, but you are right I do feel so much better. I know God has a plan and a purpose to use this for His glory!
Congratulations Sheila! Emotional eating is truly a hard addiction to recover from because it is different than alcohol and/or drugs. You have to eat so there is not complete avoidance like other addictions. You are having to make good choices at least three times a day! Thankfully our Lord wants us to succeed and He is there for you at times when your will-power feels weak. He will be your strength! God bless your journey!
Hi, Melissa! Thank You for your kind words. It is hard, but I am so glad He is strong when I am weak. I appreciate you and your encouragement. I will come back to this on the days it is hard to remind myself of His goodness!
Congratulations Sheila!!
Such an amazing accomplishment. When we determine to push forward despite the obstacles and trust God for strength, we can do great things!! Keep up the great work and keep giving to others. Blessings
Thanks, Lureta! I appreciate your encouragement and you keep doing the same! God is with us no matter what and don’t listen to the whispers of the enemy. We know he is a deceiver and a liar! We know who our HOPE is and He is GOOD!
Thank you for your willingness to share such a private part of your life. I am over the moon that your numbers are normal. That took work and self control. I admire your strength and desire for wellness. What a testimony for others. I love you.
My Sister,
You don’t know this, but you are a big part of this equation. When you were diagnosed with cancer I realized how much I had taken my physical body for granted. I didn’t physically have cancer but I had a soul cancer that was in desperate need of help. You had cancer that you couldn’t do anything about, but trust, pray and believe God for healing and I am so very thankful for our prayer being answered. I have to fight my soul cancer but I am praying, trusting and believing by God’s power this battle will be won so I can live to see my daughter get married and have her babies and you and I can grow old in our sisterhood together by God’s grace. You are an inspiration to my heart and soul! I love you!
So now I’m sobbing. Partly because I know the frustration and torture of having a food addiction but also because I am so very proud of you. You are a warrior. Your faith is strong and constant. Your light shines bright on all who know you. Love you Sheila!
My Sweet Cammy,
You are one of the most inspirational women that I know. I have seen you time after time defeat the odds of everything that has been placed in your path. I am so proud of all that you have accomplished and continue to do. His presence truly shines through you and I am so thankful to call you friend and sister. Love you Cammy!
Congratulations Sheila! You just sparkle!💖💖💖💖
Hi, Cathy!
Thank You! I appreciate you always being a cheerleader and encouraging me in every way. This is a lifetime journey, but one worth taking as God continues to do His work in my heart. I love you, sister!
Sheila you are my hero! I love you too❤️❤️❤️